My story begins in the 7th grade. I went to a private school for several years prior. K-12 with about 200 kids. 7th grade was my first year at the city public school. It was huge. At least 1,000 kids, only 7th and 8th grade.
Being new to the school, I made friends on the football team before school started. During school, these guys would talk about the girls having sex. I thought, “Girls are having sex already?” They were mostly sleeping with older kids.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t even get a kiss. At least my friends were making out with girls. I could barely get a hug.
Throughout the year my dad noticed my struggles with the ladies. That’s when he started teaching me about the game. But, I didn’t understand. So I just kept failing.
The next year in 8th grade, my friends were having sex. Most of them would date a girl and just continuously have sex with her. Possibly because of popularity, I was able to land a girlfriend. For 2 weeks. We kissed once and she dumped me.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken. I know it showed because my dad started talking to me more about girls, but still, I lacked any results.
The next year was my freshman year in high school. Back to the bottom of popularity. This school was huge too. About 2500 kids. It was a zoo.
I worked hard in sports and was pretty good my freshman year. This helped me expand my social circle because the older kids knew me. Towards the end of the year, I had older girls hitting on me because I lifted all the time. They took notice of my muscles.
I still couldn’t even get a date. I tried buying girls candy and teddy bears. Of course, that never worked and they used to laugh at me as they passed the candy out to other kids.
I was at rock-bottom. Shy, socially awkward, and had no confidence. I thought it was over for me.
My friends had sex with multiple girls by now and I still have yet to get a kiss.
The next year, my popularity continued to grow because I was starting junior varsity football and even getting some playing time on the varsity team. Girls would talk to me about how good I played, but none of them were interested.
During the season, I started hanging out with this new kid named Stan.
Stan was good at football and with the ladies. He had a car and became one of the most popular kids in school by the end of the season. He would always call me to hang out so we became close friends.
Stan had so many girls. His phone was always ringing with calls and texts from his many girls.
I started studying Stan. How does he have all the girls? What is he doing right that I’m doing so wrong? He has all these girls he doesn’t even care about and I can’t even get one. Just one.
He had the most girls in school. He was a good-looking guy, but other guys that were better looking still couldn’t get as many girls as him. I knew there had to be something else.
I watched him closely. His interactions with girls, what he would say, how he would act, everything.
After a semester of studying Stan, I formed my conclusion. His secret was his confidence.
I mean, he flat-out did not care what other people thought. If he sees an attractive girl, he’ll go talk to her without hesitation. He doesn’t care who’s watching or if he got shut down.
I saw him get rejected several times, sometimes harshly, and he was unfazed. Nothing ever made him lose his composure. At times, I would see him weeks later with a girl that previously rejected him.
The second semester I put my plan into action to lose my v-card.
The only thing on my mind, every day, was fake confidence. I obviously wasn’t confident on the inside, but I faked it by thinking, “What would Stan do or say?”
It was working. I started talking to more girls and even had them coming to talk to me.
I was looking at my options and couldn’t figure out which girl to actually pursue sex. I didn’t know if they were attracted to me or were just being friendly.
I had one AP class, advanced placement if you didn’t have that in your school. You had to test out of the basic class to get into AP, or score over a 100%. I’m pushing the difficulty of getting into these classes.
I had many girls in my AP class, but they were classified as the “good girls.” I would speak with them in class but never considered pursuing them. They had a reputation of only being concerned with school and going to a good college. These are the 4.0 and up girls, “they don’t care about boys and sex.”
One day, this girl Tara asks me if she can borrow a pencil. As I’m looking at her, I noticed she’s dressed differently. She usually dresses very conservatively, almost like a businesswoman, though we were in high school.
Today she was wearing tight jeans and a tight, low-cut shirt that said, “Your boyfriend likes it.” I immediately realized Tara’s boobs are huge. I looked back into her eyes and asked, “your boyfriend likes what?” She replied, “the sex or blowjobs,” accompanied by the hand motion.
My heart was beating out of my chest. Tara is so sexy and I never even considered her.
I kept the conversation going best I could, then after class, I asked her what she was doing after school. She told me she rode the bus home. I said I would walk her to the bus after school. She replied, “Ok, meet me at my locker.”
After school, we chatted at her locker and somehow, we kept getting closer to each other. As I walked her to the bus, I noticed our hands kept touching, just barely. I took a breath and grabbed her hand. I was so nervous I couldn’t even look at her. But, she didn’t pull away and we held hands all the way to the bus.
When we stopped she was still close to me, then she turned and gave me a big hug. As we were pulling away, she kissed me on the lips and left without saying anything.
I didn’t see her at all the next day because our classes rotated every other day. My feelings were hurt. Another failure I thought.
I saw her in class 2 days later. She sat by me and asked, “Why didn’t you walk me to the bus yesterday?” I froze and basically said, “I didn’t know.” To which she replied, “Don’t forget about me today.”
I walked her to the bus every day and she became my girlfriend. We would make out at school but, I knew we couldn’t have sex that way.
Around the same time, I got a car. A very cheap, small, unappealing car, but a car.
We started going out to lunch getting fast food, then making out in the parking lot til class started. Then, we started grabbing food and going to my house to make out.
This happened for weeks until we were making out at my house one day, and her top button broke. She bit her lip and said, “You broke my button baby.” I started unbuttoning the rest of her shirt. And we had sex. We were 30 minutes late back to class, but who cares.
We continued to do it about once a week for the rest of the school year and summer break.
I knew she was moving sometime over the summer but didn’t know the date. She just left. No phone call, letter, text, or note.
I began as a romantic. Tara turned me into a savage.
I just couldn’t believe she didn’t say bye when, we lost our virginity to each other, and had sex for almost 5 months. My view of girls completely changed. I don’t care about their feelings because they don’t care about mine.
Check out the continuation of my story part 2. When I finally understood the game.